The varied personalities of a regular Homosapien

Continued from Part I... Continued from Part II... Continued from Part III... Swami had reached ahead of us and was waiting for us fresh as ever. He ensured that all of us were inside and then lovingly informed us where the mattresses were kept and where we were to sleep. He told us all to take rest and that He will interact with us the next day. It took some time for it to actually sink in that we are in Swami's home. We are going to be staying there and Swami was already playing the role of the host to perfection. We actually were Swami's guests! I had armed myself with "Anyatha Saranam Nasthi" (Other than You, I have no refuge) - a book a friend had suggested as a sure shot faith injector. So every day I would read the book, and look up at Swami as He came out and mentally ooze out devotion but my heart was stone cold and telling me "run, run, run". How do I know which is which. Because, I was physically feeling my heart grow heavy during this

Continued from Part I... Continued from Part II... Apr 1 2005 Evening Session: I was excited. I was nervous. I was happy. I was sad. I was ready. I was a wreck. I was grateful. I was sorry. I was new. I was old. I was here. I was not. Bhagawan was coming for Darshan. He was moving too slow. Come fast Swami. I want to give you this letter and see you eye on eye for maybe the last time. Will I ever get this chance again. He was moving too fast. Slow down Swami. Let me relish every aspect of your personality. Your smile. Your frown. Your conscious indifference. Your chuckle. Your mock anger. The way you take the letter. The way you lift up the curls which mischievously descend onto your face. The way you lift the kerchief. The way you keep it back. The way you shower your love, oh the love, the love, the love. Is it really the last day? Can I not be your student any more? Will I be relegated to be seated among the old students, when I return. I love you Swami. I love